Insult Generator

Generates a unique insult for each name, and back again! Impress and offend your friends!

Copyright © 2004-2006 Matt Giuca

You look like a scum-sucking half-witted cheesecake, and your intelligence is highly questionable. And also, you would get pwned by a half-witted pathetic balding idiot, who collects earwax.

This is an amusing little program I wrote in first year 433-152, in Haskell. Now that I'm demonstrating 152, I've had requests from students for the source.

It's an "insult generator" with a twist. It takes your name (ie. a string) and generates a totally unique and very insulting insult for that name. But, it can also reverse the process, re-encoding an insult back into its original string.

Download it and open it in Hugs with hugs insult.


To generate an insult, try:

insult "YourName"

(which is an IO function that prints out the insult), or try:

insultMe "YourName"

which returns a string (messier but it can be fed into other functions).

You would get pwned by an expendable encrusted dickwad, and you suck. And, you are flatulent, nerdy, dumb and stupid.

Pretty insulting, eh?

No two strings will ever generate the same insult. How can I be so sure, you ask? Because I wrote another function which takes the complete insult and tells you what name generated it!!! Yes thats write, this whole thing is a very complicated and hilarious form of encryption!

Reverse insults!

You can reverse any insult (as long as its 100% the correct format, ie. actually generated by insultMe) using:

takeItBack "complete insult"

Or if you like (since insults are huge), paste them into a text file and use:

decryptFile "filename"

which opens the file, reads the insult (ignoring whitespace and case sensitivity) and takeItBack'ses it.

takeItBack is designed such that takeItBack (insultMe str) == str (although it does lose casing and punctuation).

The source

The Haskell source code is provided for your reference. It's a bit messy, but thoroughly commented. A manual is also provided, which describes the algorithm used, and some of the functions you can call to explore the program's inner workings. Enjoy!


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License.

"Derivative Work" means a work based upon the Work or upon the Work and other pre-existing works, such as a translation, musical arrangement, dramatization, fictionalization, motion picture version, sound recording, art reproduction, abridgment, condensation, or any other form in which the Work may be recast, transformed, or adapted...

If anybody makes a motion picture version of this program, please let me know!

Matt Giuca